Month: June 2014

Why not have a divorce party?

Mr. Walsh writes

But, for some reason, when I hear about divorce I don’t feel like popping the champagne bottle or sprinkling the confetti.

Is that because I’m “too young to understand”?

The issue is not that you’re “too young” to understand; the issue is that you’re too inexperienced to understand. You have yet to be (and hopefully will never be) on the receiving end of physical and emotional abuse. You have not been the stay-at-home parent reliant on your spouse and then made homeless. In Alaska. In the winter. With a baby. You have not been to the ER for a bleeding head wound caused by your spouse. You have not had your spouse clear out the checking account, knowing that you needed the money there because you have already written a check to pay for school – the schooling that will ultimately be your way out of the marriage. You have not had the neighbors hear your screams and call the police, only to have your spouse show them the bites and scratches from you defending yourself. You can show them where the bruises will show up in a few days, but because your spouse is savvy enough not to do anything to you that leaves an immediate mark on you, the police don’t believe you are the battered spouse. You have not had your spouse be unrepentantly unfaithful and been unable to do anything about it (because remember, you are the stay-at-home parent in a traditional marriage – you have no money, no job, and you have the children with you all the time).

So yes, Mr. Walsh – the gentleman was right. You don’t know the future, and sometimes people change. Sometimes people change such that your safety and the safety of your children depends on a quick, clean divorce. People ALWAYS have free will, and sometimes they use it for evil. Including your spouse.

My divorce was the best thing that had happened to me up to that point – first time in years my children and I became safe. You bet your gluteus maximus I partied when I got those court documents in the mail.

 

Sex Advice

Granted I’ve only been married for five years, but in my opinion this is the only sex advice column you will ever need.

Id's Red Book

Has anyone else noticed that most sex advice columns are total bullshit?  Sure, they might sound like they have a clue what they’re talking about, but once you dig a little bit you realize they’re full of shit and just regurgitating the same advice they read on another bullshit site.

For example, (I’ve chopped it down for readability without changing the content too much, you can verify by reading the original here.  I’m not calling out that site specifically, but this type of advice. **Edit, the site has since been removed but I’m too lazy to find another bullshit sex advice column and they’re pretty much all the same anyway**.) here is some advice provided on an actual relationship and sex advice blog here on WordPress:

Ways to spice up your now boring sex life:

1. Dress up. It is so fun to dress up and get into character. Be creative and…

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