Reality

8 Lies We’re Told About The “Real World”

This is so true. Couple things to add –

1. There are no labels – Ashley is definitely right. One of my conservative friends like to speak disparagingly about another friend of mine because he is a “leftist.” Understanding where this “leftist” is coming from is, of course, out of the question because he’s a “leftist.”

2. Dating becomes easier – I actually thought dating did become easier. For one thing, dating was actually possible in my 20’s. No one would give me the time of day in high school. So all the stupid dating mistakes most people make at 16? Yeah … I made those mistakes at 20. And then I decided that I didn’t give a shit about the games and I’d just go with being honest. And blunt. Amazingly, this worked pretty well.

3. You should finish college if you want to be successful – Ashley phrased this really well. I finished college with the specific objective of being employable afterward. I treated college like an investment in my future ability to provide for my family and it worked out great. It didn’t hurt that I studied accounting, a field with great job security. But I have also see too many people piss away their 20’s by switching majors 6 times, never finishing a degree of ANY sort, racking up a bunch of student loans, and then wonder why they can’t get anywhere in life except for a dead-end job with a good chunk of their wages garnished to pay back their student loans.

4. College will be the best years of your life – It was for me! But not for the reasons most people think. I was a single mom on public assistance and I lived in a family-friendly university housing complex. I had the flexibility to be the parent I wanted to be, I had great relationships with my neighbors, and we all just had this big sharing circle of kids’ clothes, advice, support, and even friendship.

5. Honesty is the best policy – I still do believe that honesty is the best policy, but there is an art to being honest. If I have to tell a client that the shit their pulling won’t fly, I don’t say, “The shit you’re pulling won’t fly.” Instead I say something like “You may want to consider X because Y. Also because we won’t sign the report if you leave it like that, but mainly because Y.”
Honesty also worked will for dating (see #2). I went on many first and only dates where I wasn’t into the guy. Instead of the usual, “Oh yeah sure I’d love to see you again, blah blah …” I said “You know, I’m not really feeling it.” Cruel? Maybe. Disarming? Definitely. But neither one of us had to waste any more time on something that clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

6. You have to choose between a career or family – I’m spoiled. I have a stay-at-home husband. I have no idea how I would be a halfway decent mom to our 3 kids without him.

7. Time heals all wounds – Over time, the new normal feels, well, normal. Over time, the work of healing begins to be effective, assuming you are in the right circumstances to heal. But no, time by itself doesn’t heal anything.

8. Success comes with hard work – nothing to add here. Ashley’s spot-on.

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